#writelikethis: Tale of Two Products
I’m not a metrosexual. But I do like to look and smell fresh—like the Prince of Bel-Air. Therefore, I use “beauty” products on occasion. And since I’m not a big fan of smearing chemicals or hormone-disrupting goo on my body, I try to keep it as natural as possible.
I just grabbed two of my favorite natural products from the bathroom. Garnier Fructis Style Pure Clean Styling Gel and Every Man Jack Post-Shave Lotion. Both products work very well. But only one has my love, affection, and undying loyalty. Every Man Jack. Why? One reason. Its package copy creates a deep emotional connection—by making me laugh my ass off. Let’s take a closer look.
Garnier Fructis Style Pure Clean Styling Gel
“Introducing the next generation of pure styling! PURE CLEAN is our first naturally-derived styling line with acacia gum for 24-hour, pure performance and ultra-clean hold—whatever your style!”
#writelikethis critique:
Not horrible writing. But it’s impersonal and boring. And it leaves me scratching my head. (Pun alert!) What was the first generation of pure styling? Maple syrup? How does hair gel perform, exactly? And what’s up with two exclamation points in such a short span? It’s just hair gel, dude. Relax and give me a period.
Every Man Jack Post-Shave Lotion
“Will EMJ make the pain go away? Depends on your childhood. As far as skin goes, this light, non-greasy formula will deeply hydrate and heal dry or razor irritated skin. All without blocking pores. Made for sensitive skin.”
#writelikethis critique:
I laughed out loud the first time I read this. I was standing in Target, florescent lights humming away, people milling about. I brought the package close to my face, read every word of the copy, laughed hysterically—the best kind of emotional connection—and immediately forgot that any other company on earth made face lotion. The copy is as light and non-greasy as the lotion. It’s not afraid to use fragments. And it doesn’t have any exclamation points. Sold.
Here’s the freakin’ point: You can’t sell all brands and products with irreverent humor. If you’re selling timeshares at the cemetery, you probably should be, um, grave. But most products—especially beauty and lifestyle products—should feel fun and light and non-greasy.
Now I know what you’re thinking: Your theory is bull dung, Josh. After all, you bought BOTH products.
Yes, it’s true, I bought both products—even the one with lots of exclamation points. And, like I said, I’m happy with both. But here’s the difference: I’m just dating Fructis. There’s no emotional charge to the relationship. One bad hair day and it could end.
With Me and EMJ, however, it’s a serious LTR.
The bottom line: If you make them laugh, you’ll go in the cart… forever.
